intervention

it all started with a request by yours truly to get some much needed fashion help. so i guess this would be called a voluntary intervention.

i rose early (well, for me)on a fine saturday morning, donned a pair of jeans, tennis shoes, and a shirt that i had most recently purchased at Walmart. it was pink. and, anyone that knows me very well, knows that that is a tremendous feat.

anyway, i met my dear friend brookie in the JCP parking lot. after buckling up (safety first), she whisked me right over to cave spring corners to meet the other ladies involved in my intervention.(cat, dee, and theresa)

and, it began at Hamrick's. i was quickly ushered to the lady's fitting room, where i spent a good forty five minutes. these are rules, i am informed. my job is to try on clothes. brookie, dee and theresa's job is to pick out the clothes. and cat, well she got the worst job of all: putting all the clothes that didn't fit or that didn't pass inspection back on hangers and onto the racks for the next unsuspecting customer.

next, it was time for a hair trim. off to cost cutters we went. after being informed of a forty five minute wait, we sped off to ruby tuesday's for a quick lunch and mojitos. we got there just in time for the lady to wash, trim and fluff up my hair in a way that made me look like i had wings. (she spent more time fluffing than cutting) so we thanked the lady nicely and headed to the car so brookie could assess the damage.

in the meantime, brookie had sent for the other interventionists (is that a word?) to tanglewood mall so that they might get a head start on the search for the clothes that were the appropriate size, color, length, etc. so once more, it was back to the fitting room.

now, i considered not adding this, but i found it quite humorous. i didn't know what bra size i needed. brookie, who has previously worked for JCP, asked the salesman if he had a tape measure. we then set to the task of measuring my chest and then spent some more time figuring out how to change inches into bra size. brookie, the ever kind trooper, then helped me try them on until we found one that fit. henceforth, i sent her back to find three exactly like the one that i had tried on.

i think i tried on eleventy million outfits. by this time, though, we had developed a system. as i tried on clothes, if i wanted them, i kept them in the fitting room. if i didn't then i tossed them either over or under the door (it depended on the store. there is such a variety of fitting rooms!)into cat's waiting arms.

we went to avenue, steinmart, and catherine's where this entire process was repeated over and over. i think it was at this time that i realized that i had discovered a new exercise program: start by walking a mile from your car in the parking lot to the store. next try on fifty outfits. then, while holding onto twenty pounds of clothing, stand in line for twenty minutes. finally, carry all bags back to the car at which time you realize that this car is not the one you arrived in. and then backtrack until you finally slump into the seat simply wishing for a diet coke and a cigarette.

so, as we stumble out of the last store, we realize that victory is ours. it took us a mere 5.5 hours to spend $500. i do believe that is a record.

two things i want to mention: first, there will be an upcoming comparison blog of the similarities and differences in fitting rooms. second, i bought a purse. did you here that: a purse.

at approximately 4pm, we were spent. we labored once more to our vehicles. there were hugs all around and a promise that "this intervention is not done yet". (hair and make up come next).

so until then, my dear friends, until then...